How well do you think you know yourself?  What motivates you?  What underlying fears do you have?  Who are you at your healthiest?  Where do you go mentally when you are at your worst?

What is the Enneagram personality test?

Have you ever heard of the Enneagram?  There are many books out there about the nine personality types, and several free tests on the internet, to give you an idea of what type you may be.  You can search the internet or check out this free option (assessment.yourenneagramcoach.com)

I am an indecisive person. Multiple choice is a struggle.  I would rather write you an essay about why I feel this or know that (You may be a writer if….).  Maybe I don’t know myself as well as I think, or maybe it is because I feel different about the answer depending on the context.  If the question makes me think of how I am at work, I would answer differently, than if I was thinking about how I am at home with my husband and kids.

Once I took the quiz and got the results, I read “The road back to you” by Suzanne Stabile.  It had a checklist in the front (my kind of style) that helped verify if you related to that number.

I was kind of fascinated.  How could a quiz and book peg me so well?  However; the benefits went beyond just me learning some things about myself.  There were some Aha moments as I looked at others in my house as well.

What does our personality say about us?

I am a 2 -Helper  This means I like to show my love for people by doing things. I can be friendly and self-sacrificing, but also want to avoid conflict.  People-pleasing means I want everyone to be happy, and won’t engage in disagreements even when I have an opinion. I struggle to admit my own needs.  In an unhealthy place (when something matters and isn’t going my way), I need control and can become very justice oriented (characteristics of an 8).  I get aggressive and try and dominate the situation.  I have done this at work and in my personal life.  People do not like me when I am in this place.  At work I used to call it professionally annoying. You can read more about my struggle with that at http://guidedbygod.net/giving-god-control/.

My husband is a 3 -Achiever.  Those who know my husband you are not surprised by this at all!  He is self-assured, ambitious, highly driven, and a role model who inspires others.  However; a three can be self conscious, fear failure, and struggle with workaholism and competitiveness. 

We even got the kids involved

Hannah (17) was a 7-Enthusiast. She is extroverted, optimistic, and spontaneous. However; sevens can become over-extended, scattered, and undisciplined.

Haylee (15) was a 1- Reformer.  She has a strong sense of right and wrong, is self controlled, and well organized.  However; can be afraid of making a mistake and become a perfectionist.

Leah (12) was a 4-Individualist. She can be reserved, temperamental and self-conscious. She can withhold herself from others, due to feeling vulnerable and defective. Fours typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity.   

Hunter (13) chose not to participate. “He doesn’t like that kinda thing”. What teenager boy wants to take a test when Fortnite is available?

What now?

This was really eye opening to me.  It not only helped me understand myself and why I do the things I do, but also helped me understand others in my family, and our dynamics.  

You see, I want everyone to be happy (people pleasing).  I sacrifice my own needs often for this to be reality, so when one of my children (number 4) mopes around all melancholy, it upsets me to my core.  I want to fix it, and I can’t. So I go to my unhealthy place of trying to dominate the situation…to no avail I might add.  It just leaves me frustrated.

By learning what makes each of us tick, I have found some peace.  God made each of us unique and with a purpose.  He knew just what family to place each of us in. We all live together and want to understand each other, which leads to a happy healthier family dynamic.   

While we can’t fix anyone, chances are there are a lot of different personalities living in the same home.  Have some fun.  Take the test as a family and see what you can learn about each other. You might walk away with more insight and a deeper understanding of yourself and your loved ones.  Why stop there?  Have your coworkers and friends join in and see what you can learn about each other!

Some things to consider: 

• You can’t determine someone else’s number. The point of the enneagram is your motivation behind why you do what you do. Several people can do the same thing, but have a different motivation for doing it. 
• WARNING!  They say the number 2 is the most often mistyped.  Why?  As a woman we are always helping our family.  It is in our nature.

• Enneagram says that personality isn’t developed until age 7, and that this test is appropriate for children at approximately 10-11 years of age.

• Annie F Downs has a podcast called Enneagram Summer.  She takes a male and female of each number, and they discuss what it is like to live as that number.  Some are single, and others are married with children.  It is another opportunity to relate to others who are different from you.
• If you end up taking the test I’d love to hear what you think.  Leave me a comment about what you gained from the experience.  I am fascinated with it!